Diapers and Life. More Life.

We have a new baby! But it's not me >(

2009-05-04T01:49:00.000-07:00

So we finally had our 2nd baby! We were scheduled for a C-section on a wednesday but my wife went into labor Monday morning, so we had to rush up to the hospital that was 25 min away and get an emergency C-section goin. Everything came out all right, but since the baby was a little early she got some jaundice and had to chill out under the uv lights. I will try to get an updated picture this one was shortly after birth and they don't look too pretty.

My wife and I started talking about diapers again- I have a post on DD if you want to leave some advice. I am just hopin I can be diapered soon and not have to worry about it all anymore.

Look Ma! Juggling!

2009-03-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

Whew it is so crazy in my world right now!

My T-shirt and Sign business has picked up...
I am also doing Graphic Arts for two magazines this month...
I had to preach twice in the last 4 weeks...
My house always needs work...
My wife is due to have another baby beginning of May...
My daughter loves to spend time with me...
Her mother too...

And... I want to get my realtor's license!

Sometimes I feel like I am doing too much, but then think- nah I can do that too!

Anyone else ever like this?

Home is where the diaper is... errr.. I mean heart.

2009-03-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

Can I just say home ownership is TOUGH ?!?!

We have purchased a foreclosed home last November and are still working on it every week. We took the 0% GOVT loan to help bring this up to par... I still don't have a jacuzzi though :(

I have like ruined two sets of clothes with paint and dirt and my wife scolds me for it >.< Just like mom... lol.

So I have sealed and painted the inside. Put on baseboard and trim. Replaced outlets and fixtures. Laid tile in the kitchen and dining room. Painted doors. Trimmed doors. Lost my screen door and changed some locks out. Doesn't sound like much, but it is. Painted kitchen cabinets inside and out, replaced the cooktop, placed dish mats in cupboards, hung curtains, rehung curtains, cleaned everywhere... the list goes on...

Whats left? Put in refridgerator, dishwasher. Replace countertops and sink. Put up crown molding, finish the office, and hang some more curtains... almost there!!!
Will buy diapers for those who will come help ;)

Get a face-

2009-02-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

I have been reading alot of similar blogs and posts on being open with ABDL. I would like to stand on a soap box and let out some deep felt ideas.

1. I wish more ABDL would post their faces. Real faces. I want to see real people, not JUST diaper shots. It is a problem when the basis of a community is online. There is so much safety stigma. Yea if you are under 18 be careful. Yea if you are a diapered female and live alone, be careful, be wise, and don't be stupid.

2. For those that are still "hiding." I have grace for you for it was given to me. I encourage you to seek understanding of infantilism and come to grips with reality that you are just a minority and not a freak. The true freaks are those that walk around blind and aimless, ignoring the truth, seeking only to see from their blurry vision, and heroingly pulling everyone along with them. The truth will set you free.

3. Yes our community needs a face and a good one at that. We need a well thought of point of contact with the general public. I have so many ideas floating around right now I need to get together with some of you all and give them some exposure.

That's it! Seems like Blogger is working for me now, yay!

The Clash of 2 Worlds, and a Prayer request.

2009-02-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

posted this on DD today, but thought it good to be in the blog:

So i have recently told my wife that I like diapers... it has not been smooth sailing.

The first night she said she still loved me. But now after it has set in a little... she doesn't know what to think or to say.
She was hoping that maybe if she just ignored it, that it would go away. I told her this will not work and will only make matters worse.
She thinks it is very strange and not normal. She says its all rubbish. The "Freak" word was even thrown in there somewhere- I might have even implied it.

All I can say is that this is extremely difficult and is tearing me up inside. I am wishing I wouldnt have told her, but at the same time I was sick of living a lie! We are both Christian but the love and acceptance thing is just not kicking in. I know now by experience what the gay community has felt due to nonacceptance. And there is a whole nother area I am glossin over, but my point is that I am now being Judged by my wife. As Christians we are to judge in the fact to call something right or wrong based on the scriptures... the judgment we are called away from is from executing sentencing and condemning people for the sin in their lives. I now feel I am under condemnation for liking diapers. And it feels horrible.

For those of you that believe in the God of the Bible, your prayers are welcomed. Any sound advice will be weighed and taken. Thanks.

Diapers and Faith

2009-01-31T15:24:00.000-08:00

I thought I might need to do my mantra post here. Someone asked me about my beliefs so I feel I need to start posting in that area as well.

KilrathiDLKR (sp) holds similar views to me.

Let me show you someone I understand and relate on about faith:
http://intodiapers.blogspot.com/2006/01/do-not-serve-two-masters.html

Its a dead blog now, but has alot of good content.
The only big disagreement I have is on the area of masturvation. That's for another blog.

Diapers are a desire of the Flesh.
Of this I have no doubt. It is not a spiritual desire. I believe some of us have had the desire so long and have satisfied it so intensely, that it seems to come from a spiritual plane, or deep down inside of us. The Expression of God tells us that the Flesh war against the Spirit and vice versa. And that we end up doing the things we don't want to do. I pray that others do not fool themselves in this matter that diapers are "something else"- they are a fleshly desire. Just like thirst and hunger, a desire for sexual gratification, a desire to fit in. When diapers come to the point of being the top priority in your life, it is now a sin. If it takes you away from God, it is a sin. If they impede your relationship with Him, they are a sin.

So how do I have this desire and stay in righteousness (right standing with God)
1)Know and Fear the LORD. He is top priority. He has also established other priorities for us to follow. I have a family. They next on that list. I have a ministry and my job. Diapers needs to hit below those two.
2)My sexual attachment and bond is to my wife. If diapers become greater- I am in sin.
3)If diapers make my brother stumble... we will have to deal with it. This is why we do not share fetishes in church. Alot of us have them, but we will not bring them up in fear that it will freak out our brethren.

We live with the flesh, the sin nature. Until we are glorified with Christ, we will have to deal with diapers. I cannot wait until that day. The desire for diapers will be stripped away- along with any other desire of the flesh and I will be perfected/completed in Christ.

Oh how many lives are scarred by this desire. No one there to tell them how it works and what it all means. How many young men could we save from abusing their minds and bodies over this silly fetish?

Blankeys and Deedees

2009-01-30T22:40:00.000-08:00

Sidenote: Blogger has not been working right on my computer for the last week and a half. I takes like 3 reloads just to get the page up and I can't respond to other blogs! This is so frustrating me! If you know how to fix it, leave a comment here. And to the blogs I am following, I will play catch up when this is fixed.

On to the post.

I was watching a show on tv the other day called "Clean House." It is based in LA California and the show goes to ppl with messy houses and they clean them up, organize them and then make minor changes (paint and fixtures and stuff). So they are at this one ladies house and she has blankeys... and she has to have them. She said "Ever since I was a kid... they are a comfort thing. Then the show host looked on the bed and said "Do you have TWO different blankets on your bed ?!?" The lady smiled and said, "Yes, my husband and I sleep with separate blankets!" The camera turns to the husband... "She takes all the blankets when we sleep, I have to have my own!"

This is totally my wife and I. She is the blanket hog in this marriage. I am always left out in the cold. She is getting better, but on the cold nights I really have to wear my footed pjs to bed just to stay warm. My wife ALWAYS wants a comforter on our bed... Even in summer! I am like dying of heat in the summer and she wants the comforter on!!! None the less she blasts the fan too- another pep peeve of mine cause eventually I will be freezing in the night when she is covered up and I am uncovered! She says she loves the comfort and security it brings...

*sigh* Well, I love her and this is something I will have to accept as her norm. Well it is alot of ppls norm from the look of it. I cant change her, so I am learning to live with it and love her through it. This makes the relationship much better. Will I ever agree with her on it? Hrmm... maybe, but I let her do it because I want to better reinforce her sense of comfort and security.

The flip side is me... I like DeeDees. They bring me a sense of comfort and security. And for some reason I too long for this comfort and security when going to bed. Idk where that comes from. Probably from when you are getting ready for bed as a kid and your parents change your diaper and tuck you in? My favorite comfort in diapers from my last binge purge cycle was coming home from church on Sunday (it was an early morning for me being on the worship team and leading sunday school classes occasionally) and getting in a nice thick diaper. Being full from lunch, and lay down for a nap. It was like the epitome of my week, my true time of rest. Those were the best naps...

So my wife and I are not that different in loving things that bring us a sense of comfort and security. My thing is just very, very, very, and can I add one more very... uncommon.

Kats outta the bag!

2009-01-28T15:07:00.000-08:00

Well, if you're wondering why I haven't been on in awhile, 2 things have been goin down.

1) I just told my wife that I like diapers. It was hard at first, but after that first sentence I couldn't shaddup for 20 minutes. And to place a swift end to questions "Did she offer to diaper you? Was she into them too?" let me say a big resounding "NO!" We are on a day by day basis on dealing with it. Am I glad I took the plunge? Yes. It sucked big time that I couldn't share this side of me to my wife. I feel better for doing it, yet I don't feel any different. Maybe its cause I am not wearing diapers ATM. Hopefully soon, it's been driving me crazy no doubt, but I have to get a release from her to do so. I don't care if she doesn't want me wearing them around her, although I will miss the time not spent with her- if that makes any sense... and no, I am not leaving her at any time to just get in diapers- that'd be whackT.

And... she still loves me :) Everything in my heart told me she would, but the stupid thoughts of the Enemy and the Flesh scream really loud. I love her more too through this. I feel I can connect better and not have to hide some of the thoughts I have.

and the other thing...

2) I am launching the first design of "the" logo I posted here awhile back. You can buy it if ur a member of DailyD's. I hope to give our community the discreet identity they deserve. We all have been looking for something like this for a very long time...

Logo for us folk

2009-01-23T14:26:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to upload a logo I have been working on for our community. I have rearranged the normal abbreviations so it is not as obvious of exactly who we are. This logo is not like a "gay pride" symbol. It is a low key element that anyone can wear safely in public and no one will know what it is all about unless they hang out on our blogs.

For example - if we were to throw ABDL on a shirt someone can google that on their phone and know exactly what you are. This way they would have to intelligently research us to find out what the lettering means.

What meaning does this symbol have?

Well for starters - AB is not the first set of abbreviations... In this community, I admit we all share at LEAST 1 thing in common- we love diapers. So it has been placed first and foremost.

Next there is a "star" then a "B" - this is just graphical creativity to mask the "A", but it could mean that maybe not everyone is an AB. I see Adult Kids, Little Girl, Little Boy, Teen Baby, etc... so the star is relative to the person bearing the logo. If they are a Teen, that star means Teen Baby- if they are a little girl, then it is little girl baby, so on and so forth.

And finally we have the image element of the diaper pin. The last ABDL logos I saw were kinda not a mainstream look and feel. This one plays both parts. While it is not a FULL ON diaper pin because there is no recognizeable "clip" - keeps us discreet in public, yet conveys a sense of "I know what that may be..." Once again the diaper is what really sets us apart from any other group. It is our common identity in this community and therefore is represented in this logo. It surrounds all of us, if you will, with a constant reminder that no matter how different we all are from one another, we are unified by a like of diapers.

Thoughts? Concerns? Coloring ideas or requests???

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

2009-01-20T15:18:00.000-08:00

3 Different modes of transportation, but essentially you all can get to New York from California...

My last blog and the responses are the purpose for today's blog. About how ABDL originates. This is not an in depth post, but rather a broad look at infantilism. We all do have to agree that wether you are AB or DL or a variant... you all share the same thing in common: You wear, or want to wear diapers.

In participating in forums, such as Daily Diapers, DPF, and various blogs- I can now see three different origins of the ABDL world.

1) The "natural" ABDL. The person has grown up with this desire. Some can pinpoint events that may have helped this manifest, and others simply can't remember anything that would make them want to wear diapers. This is my origin, and possibly the most common. We are probably the more complex out of the three due to the overwhelming sense of trying to understand oneself from a point in time where you had no knowledge of higher thinking such as psycological profiles. We are left questioning ourselves, while some can just use the same events to say "That's that... I am an ABDL, weee let's get on with life!" The attachment is mental/emotional and/or sexual

2) The "fetish" ABDL. This is the person who came in contact with diapers at a cognoscente age- mainly early puberty and beyond. They saw diapers and had the thought "those could be a turn on..." or more commonly, they have partners who are a natural and their fetish is now become their own as well. Most of the people who adopt in to ABDL at this stage are exploring sexuality as teens and adults should know it. Not the sexuality of a little child. This fetish attachment is sexual and can develop into mental/emotional.

3) The third origin I present only came to my knowledge in the past couple of days from blogging and sharing and reading other blogs of ABDLs. There is a woman, who to my knowledge was not a natural, but wouldn't quite label herself a fetish ABDL. We will call this origin "practical". She explains she likes the convenience of diapers and claims no real emotional or sexual attachment. This blew my mind! But if she is honest, then there is that third origin. I guess practicals would be pregnant women who use them as convenience or like what we hear about in Japan- such as people wearing for comfort on a long train ride. The practicals we don't call AB, but they would strictly be DL. But not the common DL we all know. They just love diapers because of what they provide- an alternate way to relieve the body of waste :)

So does this sit well with anyone else? Agree? Disagree?

The Events?

2009-01-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

Common among some AB/DL are events that are traumatic that enforces a defense mechanism of regression. This is a very brief post, but I wanted to share it with you to help us all get a better sense of these triggers.

I was about Two and a half years old. Still Diapered obviously, but we lived in an apartment. I remember being out in the living room and that we had an old wall heater (probably top of the line back then) My Dad had a drinking problem (Not understood by me at this age) and at this point pushed my mom into the heater. He says he did something different and she fell back and tripped into the heater, but its not how I remember it. I remember her going into her bed room and me and my brother following her in there crying and afraid. The memory is burnt into my mind because there was a Big mirror on the wall opposite the bed and I can see the reflection of all three of us crying and holding onto one another...

I wish I had access to other memories of stuff like this to maybe help say that toddlerhood was traumatic, but I don't. There were events post age 5 or 6 but as you know from my first blog- the DL side of me was already present.

To be a ninja!

2009-01-16T22:12:00.000-08:00

Ninja's are way cool! and I mean, Waaaay cool! Don't get me wrong, I love pirates too! They are clever in their own tactics. I would like to see Chuck Norris take on a ninja. They are all stealthy and mysterious. I wonder if Chuck is a ninja?

Anywho,
Stealing, in my belief system is a bad thing. We believe that everything done that is evil was done so because the person has a belief in a lie. What was my lie? That it didn't really matter that I was stealing diapers because they were always gonna be there... and besides- I put them back!

About the 3rd grade we had one of my mother's friends come live with us for about a month. She had a baby that wore size 3 diapers. Ohh... To be close to a stash of diapers, to live in the same house as a stash... Unbearable. I had to try them out. My ethics said to steal was not right, so after they were not living with us, there was a package left in the bathroom closet, half empty.

I snuck in there one day and grabbed one and took it back to my room. I was enthralled, excited, scared, and fascinated. I pulled down my underwear and stretched the diaper over my sweetness.

Wonderful.

After I was done taking it all in, I folded it back up as best I could and placed it back in the package. This lasted me about a month. There were about 8 diapers in there. I think I ended up throwing 5 of them away and then one day... The package was ninja'd. But not by me.

Is that a load in your pants or are you just not using the toilet?

2009-01-15T22:28:00.000-08:00

“Son...” My Dad would say to me, “Do you know why I am going to spank you?”

I nodded my head. “Cause I pooped in my pants.”

I was then disciplined with his belt. Discipline: punish in order to gain control or enforce obedience. Is disciplining wrong? No. My beliefs warrant it, especially among children- such as what would happen to me if I pooped my pants.

The last time I “had an accident” was one time in my 3^rd grade year. It was so embarrassing. But it took that long to be “fully potty trained.” Bed wetting? I only remember one time. I wore my Karate Gui to bed, dreamed I was peeing in the toilet, woke up wet. I cried. My mom came into the room and helped me change my clothes and get me back into bed.

My parents talked about it whenever around friends and family. I always shied when they did this. I recall my mother asking me when I was a little older on why I did it. “I was too busy(preoccupied) to use the bathroom.” I now analyze my response. It was the truth. I bought in to a belief that said pooping in my pants was an effective alternate to spending time/energy to go use the toilet.

Should I have been in trouble for this belief? I believe not. I believe my parents should have first helped alleviate the issue by diapering me. I washed and was helped to wash, several- and I mean several, pairs of underwear in the toilet. It was gross, disgusting, and smelled, and was time consuming! After the current issues of catching my poo were dealt with, they probably would have benefited in sitting down with me and talking and listening on why I pooped my pants – and help reason with me. Reason? Yes, I was a boarder line genius as a child (another post for the future). From there, they could have figured out what to do to help me overcome the issue, or help me not make the public or family – have to deal with my own issue.

Today- I hate the smell of poop. I can't stand it. I don't like changing poopy diapers on any kids that I watch including my own! Lol. Have I pooped in an adult diaper – yes, 2 or 3 times. I will not do it again out of my own desire- It's not my thing, but props to you if that's your cup of tea... I am having decaf tonight.

Commercials... I don't want to be a big kid?

2009-01-14T22:49:00.000-08:00

Diaper Fascination... Why was I like this?

I can recall growing up and watching commercials and hoping for a diaper commercial to come on. I relished them when they did- I just stared at them and wondered. Wondered what it would be like. To walk around and hear the crinkle, to feel the thick padding of a diaper.

As I grew older, like around 3rd grade on up. I became aware this was not quite normal, I would always try to not look so interested in the commercials. But I would always look.

In my teenage years, I would wander the newspaper ads and look for Adult Diapers on sale, just to see the ad and imagine...

Obsession? Commercial advertising worked for this kid!

The First Glance...

2009-01-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

Moving is fun.... if you're a kid!

When you're an adult, it stinks. Pack, carry, load, re-load, drive, back-in, unload, carry, live for 6 months, then unpack. It's tedious and when you haved moved 5 times within a year and a half... You get sick of it.

But when you are a kid... All you have to worry about is making it on board! One time moving, I rode inside of a U-Hual tow along trailer with some cousins for 4 hours. Illegal, but fun :)

The New House! What room is mine? Errr... I mean "ours". I had a brother but that was ok because we knew nothing different. Let's play Hide-and-go-Seek. I am going under the bed this time, hopefully he won't find me too soon. What's this? A big package? Plastic. Crinkles. White and Red. What's that smell? Oh..... Diapers.

I was 5 going on 6 and I was fascinated...